Comments on: What Steals Your Joy? http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy A retired professional talks about life, technology, learning Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:53:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Bruce http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy#comment-25926 Bruce Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:59:17 +0000 http://www.keenerliving.com/2008/03/12/what-steals-your-joy/#comment-25926 I miss you, too, buddy! Yup, lunch sounds fantastic to me, with you and Boyd and whoever else is willing to tolerate me for an hour or so. If you see Mad Dog, do tell him I said Hi. Helluva dude. I miss you, too, buddy!

Yup, lunch sounds fantastic to me, with you and Boyd and whoever else is willing to tolerate me for an hour or so.

If you see Mad Dog, do tell him I said Hi. Helluva dude.

]]> By: Hal http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy#comment-25924 Hal Thu, 13 Mar 2008 00:54:46 +0000 http://www.keenerliving.com/2008/03/12/what-steals-your-joy/#comment-25924 Bruce, I miss friends that retire! I'll be back in town next week, lets do lunch. I'll chat with Boyd and a few of the guys and get it up if you're available. I'm at a familiar haunt of yours .... if I see Mad Dog Baisey, which I doubt, I'll sent your regards. Hal PS: I usually ck your site daily, but I'm just getting on here in Choo Choo city! and I've also changed my email to reflect a service that won't go away. Bruce,
I miss friends that retire! I’ll be back in town next week, lets do lunch. I’ll chat with Boyd and a few of the guys and get it up if you’re available. I’m at a familiar haunt of yours …. if I see Mad Dog Baisey, which I doubt, I’ll sent your regards. Hal

PS: I usually ck your site daily, but I’m just getting on here in Choo Choo city! and I’ve also changed my email to reflect a service that won’t go away.

]]> By: Bruce http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy#comment-25910 Bruce Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:57:09 +0000 http://www.keenerliving.com/2008/03/12/what-steals-your-joy/#comment-25910 <b>Guido</b> Your Dutch English is better than my American English, and you expressed your thoughts very well. I agree with Susan that you really hit on something that steals the joy from a lot of people's days: miscommunication. Your attitude that people generally intend the positive is a great one to have, and I think it generally represents reality. Sometimes of course people do say things that are intended to be hurtful, but often they themselves regret it five-minutes later ... giving them some time to correct themselves can prevent a lot of bad feelings on everyone's part. It is so easy to get into trying to outdo each other in such situations, and that generally has tragic results. <b>Susan</b> Thank you for the feedback. I never know in advance which posts are going to be helpful to people, and often am left just wondering if I wasted everyone's time. I am glad this one was a good topic for you. Like you, and Guido, miscommunication gets me down sometimes, but over the years I have learned to look at communications more in the way that Guido does and recognize that a lot of seemingly hurtful communication was not intended that way. Guido
Your Dutch English is better than my American English, and you expressed your thoughts very well. I agree with Susan that you really hit on something that steals the joy from a lot of people’s days: miscommunication. Your attitude that people generally intend the positive is a great one to have, and I think it generally represents reality. Sometimes of course people do say things that are intended to be hurtful, but often they themselves regret it five-minutes later … giving them some time to correct themselves can prevent a lot of bad feelings on everyone’s part. It is so easy to get into trying to outdo each other in such situations, and that generally has tragic results.

Susan
Thank you for the feedback. I never know in advance which posts are going to be helpful to people, and often am left just wondering if I wasted everyone’s time. I am glad this one was a good topic for you. Like you, and Guido, miscommunication gets me down sometimes, but over the years I have learned to look at communications more in the way that Guido does and recognize that a lot of seemingly hurtful communication was not intended that way.

]]> By: Susan aka gasusan2005 http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy#comment-25908 Susan aka gasusan2005 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 14:18:37 +0000 http://www.keenerliving.com/2008/03/12/what-steals-your-joy/#comment-25908 Bruce, When I saw your post on my RSS feed, I had to come read it right away. The items you mentioned bother but do not stress me.... but then I read Guido's comment........THANK YOU GUIDO!!!! (your Dutch English is just fine!) Guido summed up what I combat the most....miscommunications.... and the hurt that goes with it. I try to be positive, talk to friends for support, and when needed, step back and take/make time to get away from "it" and do other things Great post.... I am feeling better already today :) Bruce, When I saw your post on my RSS feed, I had to come read it right away. The items you mentioned bother but do not stress me…. but then I read Guido’s comment……..THANK YOU GUIDO!!!! (your Dutch English is just fine!)

Guido summed up what I combat the most….miscommunications…. and the hurt that goes with it. I try to be positive, talk to friends for support, and when needed, step back and take/make time to get away from “it” and do other things

Great post…. I am feeling better already today :)

]]> By: Guido http://www.keenerliving.com/what-steals-your-joy#comment-25906 Guido Wed, 12 Mar 2008 13:56:34 +0000 http://www.keenerliving.com/2008/03/12/what-steals-your-joy/#comment-25906 I like your advise to <i>not let things get the best of you</i>. It seems very human to me to get upset and forget to look at the bigger picture. For me, my believe in God is part of that picture. Don't worry, I will not go into my personal faith now. You asked for something which steals my joy. I have tried to think of something in general. I hope it isn't too trivial :) I have thought of occasions where I have to keep the bigger picture in mind. A very common one is <b>miscommunications</b>. A basic example came to mind: when people don't mean what they say. If a person says something insulting out of incompetence or naivity (not knowing the implication of what was said) one does not always immediately realise this. This could lead to a nasty argument, which in the end was not important but ruined the atmosphere. One should be aware of the possibility of miscommunication. Ofcourse this is just an example, but I think it's a common one. I find it helps if in general one assumes what people say is meant to be a positive. When a remark seems negative, first assume it was misinterpreted and try to see if it could be interpreted positively. If that fails, try to ask if the remark was meant negatively. Usually this clears any misconceptions :-) Well, this may seem very trivial, but I believe that most misunderstandings are in principle based on wrong assumptions. My father used to say that assumptions are the mother of all mistakes (he was using a different word for 'mistakes'). As for "<i>not let things get the best of you</i>", when I do feel hurt by a certain misfortune I try not to let it ruin the rest of my day too. It's interesting how we let little things steal our joy. I think it's good to be conscious of the fact that we allow a particular thing to control our feelings. It's easy to keep angry about something and not forgive or let go, but that just leads to more misery. To me, it feels like a battle sometimes. I can choose to allow negative feelings to keep a hold of me, or I can dismiss them. I like most of your blog :-) (well, what I've read until now :-P) Best regards. Guido. PS. Pardon my Dutch English :-) I like your advise to not let things get the best of you. It seems very human to me to get upset and forget to look at the bigger picture. For me, my believe in God is part of that picture. Don’t worry, I will not go into my personal faith now. You asked for something which steals my joy. I have tried to think of something in general. I hope it isn’t too trivial :)

I have thought of occasions where I have to keep the bigger picture in mind. A very common one is miscommunications. A basic example came to mind: when people don’t mean what they say. If a person says something insulting out of incompetence or naivity (not knowing the implication of what was said) one does not always immediately realise this. This could lead to a nasty argument, which in the end was not important but ruined the atmosphere. One should be aware of the possibility of miscommunication. Ofcourse this is just an example, but I think it’s a common one.
I find it helps if in general one assumes what people say is meant to be a positive. When a remark seems negative, first assume it was misinterpreted and try to see if it could be interpreted positively. If that fails, try to ask if the remark was meant negatively. Usually this clears any misconceptions :-)
Well, this may seem very trivial, but I believe that most misunderstandings are in principle based on wrong assumptions. My father used to say that assumptions are the mother of all mistakes (he was using a different word for ‘mistakes’).

As for “not let things get the best of you“, when I do feel hurt by a certain misfortune I try not to let it ruin the rest of my day too. It’s interesting how we let little things steal our joy. I think it’s good to be conscious of the fact that we allow a particular thing to control our feelings. It’s easy to keep angry about something and not forgive or let go, but that just leads to more misery. To me, it feels like a battle sometimes. I can choose to allow negative feelings to keep a hold of me, or I can dismiss them.

I like most of your blog :-) (well, what I’ve read until now :-P )
Best regards.
Guido.

PS. Pardon my Dutch English :-)

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