At age 60, I am finally preparing to quit smoking. One of the steps I have to go through to be successful at this is to identify the “reasons” that I smoke. (I realize the irony of using the word “reasons” in connection with such a stupid habit.)
Even though you probably do not smoke, I think my sharing of a couple of these reasons might be helpful to you: it might give you a little better understanding of the human psyche and the difficulties we encounter in reprogramming our thinking.
One of the reasons I smoke is that I have a bit of a “rebellious streak.” Until last night, I thought this was a characteristic that set me apart from most people. But, a book I was reading on self-discipline mentioned that we all have a rebellious streak that carries over from our childhood (the amount of carry-over probably varies amongst us). The book said that one of the beliefs our subconscious holds is that
Nobody tells me what do … not even me.
You may be asking “so what?” Great question, and the answer is: by knowing which subconscious beliefs work against us, we can work on modifying those beliefs. Removing the roadblocks, so to speak.
Another of the reasons for my smoking is the belief that I have not had the will power to quit smoking. That’s not just a subconscious belief: it’s a very conscious one.
I think you may be interested in knowing why I have had this belief, because understanding “my why” could help you see similar ones in yourself. The short-version of why I have had this belief is that I have wanted to not have a will-power as strong as my father had.
Why on earth would I not want a will-power as good as my dad’s? (He had a very strong will-power.) Well, like all sons, I went through a period of competition with my dad. He was great at playing fingerstyle guitar, but I worked hard at it and got to be better at it than him, even while I was a teenager (late teens). And, after I got a couple of engineering degrees under my belt, it wasn’t long before I was making more money in a month than my dad made in a year.
Then, somewhere along the way, I realized that I no longer wanted to compete with my dad. I felt inadequate to, really, because I finally came to see him as the most wonderful man I have ever known. A man full of talents, compassionate, hard-working, with a wonderful sense of humor, a man of great integrity, and on and on. And, whenever I thought of him, I always thought of his strong will-power (and do to this day). (When he quit smoking, he made the decision and stuck to it, with no looking back.)
That’s when my subconscious started sabotaging my will-power. Put a cigarette in front of me and I’ll smoke it. Set a candy bar near by, and it ends up in my tummy.
Of course my dad would be proud for me to have a will-power as strong as/stronger than his. He would see my “no more competition” philosophy as silly, and would just want me to do what’s best for me.
So now you know a bit more about me than you knew. But, what is important, is that perhaps these examples will help you gain some insights into your own mental roadblocks, and will enable you to remove them by reprogramming your thinking.