Outgrown the Box You Put Yourself In?

To add order to our lives, we set up systems that we use on a regular basis. We then often forget to ever stop and think about whether we need to refine them. The result: we’ve boxed ourselves in without even recognizing it, and without recognizing that we may have outgrown the box.

I’ll give you a couple of simple examples. Hopefully these will motivate you to spend some time figuring out if you need to redefine some of your “boxes.”

Example 1: The Categories used at Keener Living

If you look at the Archives page for this site, you will find, at this writing, a list of about 22 categories. These include:

  • Entertainment, Gadgets, Getting Things Done
  • Personal Development, Perspective, Project Management
  • Software, Syncing, Time Management

I have highlighted the “Perspective” category, because its name does not adequately reflect the type of content that I publish in that category. I’ll get more into the ramifications of that in a minute, but also notice one other thing: there are productivity topics that you and I are interested in that do not show up in the list at all. Procrastination is one that comes to mind. Almost everyone who has taken our reader survey has indicated that procrastination is a problem for them. And, I have talked about procrastination before, probably several times, but what’s it filed under? Yup, probably under my “catch-all” tag of “Perspective.”

So, obviously it is time for me to improve my category definitions and overall tagging of articles. Should I have taken more time up front, before setting up this site, to define all the categories more rigorously? Maybe a little more time … leaving procrastination out of the list was pretty dumb. But, there comes a time when it is best to go ahead and get into something, and then tweak your systems later. In reflecting back, “Perspective” was not a bad name for what I wanted to write about: I wanted to write some thought-pieces, articles that make you think and take a different perspective on things. The problem is I used it for so long and put so many articles into it that might have better labeled as “Procrastination” (or something else).

So, my sin was not one of too little planning up front, but one of not looking soon enough at how to tweak what I had started. Now I’ve got a little over 500 posts to go back through and try to figure out what labels make the most sense for them, so that people looking for that type of content have a better chance of finding it.

Example 2: Covey Roles

Whether you formally put the concept of Covey Roles to use, you probably at least think of yourself as having several roles, and wearing several hats. For example, you might see your self as a Parent, Spouse, Servant of God, Human Resource Executive, and so on.

And, if you’re like me, you probably put these labels on yourself, and haven’t really stopped to think whether they are still appropriate. For example, I have recently realized that at least two of “my roles” don’t really fit anymore: Father and Spiritual Pilgrim.

Father doesn’t fit so well because my son just turned 37 and my daughter turned 40: they don’t need me as a “father” in the traditional sense of the word. They haven’t for a long time. Where I once would have taught them how to get a long without me, now I want to give them reason to get a long with me (not to agree with me on everything, or anything, but to desire to keep me in their lives as an adviser and friend).

Spiritual Pilgrim doesn’t fit so well, either, because I am burned out from all the reading on theology. I’m sneaking up on 60 years old: about time to do something, instead of just studying about it.

Admittedly, these examples are not optimum: those who are parents are parents until they die. And, most of us are on some sort of spiritual journey until we die. But, hopefully the examples at least conceptually illustrate my point: the roles we have “given ourselves” deserve a review to see how well they really define who we are. In some cases, making a redefinition or two has the potential to dramatically improve our lives for the better.

Your Homework

So what should you take from this? I recommend scheduling some time with yourself where you set and think about all of the systems you have put in place in your life, and how well they now fit. Ideally we would do this sort of thing periodically. But, even if you never do it again, it is a good idea to spend some time resizing any boxes that you have outgrown.


 

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  • capo

    That’s a nugget of good advice if ever I’ve seen one. Zig Ziglar uses an illustration that seems to apply here: I’ve mangled it in translation, but you’ll get the idea. A woman was baking a ham – she cut the ends off and put it in the pan to go in the oven. Her young daughter asked why she cut the ends off, and the woman said “well, that’s how my mama always did it and I’m following her recipe.” Curious, the daughter later had the chance to ask her grandmother the same question – “Grandma, why do you cut the ends of the ham off before you bake it?” Her Grandma replied that her older sister was a great cook and she was just following her sister’s recipe. One more time the girl asked her Grandma’s sister the same question. The woman laughed and said “well sweetie, I did it that way years ago. My roasting pan was too small to hold the full sized ham, so I had to trim it to fit.”
    Always good to periodically reconsider why you do what you do. (apologies to Zig for butchering his illustration)

  • http://www.keenerliving.com/ Bruce Keener

    I always love when you stop by, capo. Thanks for mentioning the Zig example. I seem to recall it now that you mention it. A while back I wanted to re-read some of Zig’s books, but I cannot find any of them … sad when a person has so many books that he can’t find some of his gem ones in the stacks, huh? I guess it’s time for me to organize them better. I dread that, but at least I can put it on my Someday list until I’m ready to deal with it.

    Again, good to hear from you.