I have OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
OK, but why talk about it? For a couple of reasons. One is to raise awareness of this condition, which impacts a couple of million people every year in the US. The other reason is to raise awareness that we all have “mind quirks,” and, just like with OCD, simply being aware of them can go a long way in offsetting them.
What do I mean by “mind quirks?” For the most part, I am referring to cognitive biases. We are all prone to these biases, and it can take considerable effort to resist them, especially since we are not generally aware of their influence on our thinking.
For example, if you look over the biases listed in the Wikipedia link of the preceding paragraph, you will see one entitled confirmation bias, which Wikipedia defines as follows:
the tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions.
If you have read as many books as I have on the question of whether God exists, you would have noticed an abundant impact of confirmation bias. You would have found that the Christian authors presented points consistent with their worldview, while downplaying or ignoring points consistent with atheism. And vice versa with the atheist authors. Brain science tells us that neither set of authors are aware of their confirmation bias.
Almost all of these books are written by people who have consistently been Christians or atheists for years, and have not converted to the other view. In the very few cases where you do see someone make a conversion from one side to other, you are more likely to see less confirmation bias in the writing.
But, by being aware that we are prone to confirmation bias, we can conduct our research in such a way as to offset the effect of the bias, by vigorously taken in all arguments and trying our best to give each a fair hearing.
Now, back to OCD, for those interested in hearing about this particular condition.
OCDcenter.org defines OCD as follows:
“OCD causes people to experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that can prompt them to carry out repeated actions (compulsions) to reduce the anxiety produced by those thoughts. Common obsessions include excessive fear of contamination, repeated doubts (such as thinking you’ve harmed someone while driving), a need for ordering and symmetry, and aggressive or horrific impulses. Common compulsions include repeated cleaning (such as hand-washing), repeated checking (such as checking to see if doors are locked), and counting.”
If you do not have OCD, you may have seen someone who does have it. An example familiar to US watchers of television is the lead character in the show Monk. Monk plays a detective who is obsessed with cleanliness and orderliness/organization. A less-well-known example is that of Howard Hughes, the world’s first billionaire (back when a billion dollars was worth far more than it is today, and of course it is a lot even today). It has been said that he had the worst case of OCD of anyone on earth, so having the condition is not incompatible with success, at least in its earlier stages. Who knows … perhaps it even contributes to certain types of success.
My OCD is primarily a counting-based OCD. Whenever I leave the house, I used to check multiple times that the kitchen stove was turned off, even if I hadn’t used it in days. I would actually place my hand on each burner and count to 7 to ensure it was off. Illogical? You betcha. Something I can avoid? Not without effort. But, once I realized that I have this condition, and that I am not unique in having it, I began resisting the compulsion. I still check the stove before leaving the house. But now I do it only once. I am working on the counting part, and I think I will eventually whip it.
I have successfully overcome one compulsion: the habit of turning the deadbolt on the door 3 times to the right to lock it. Now, I turn it only once.
But, I have my work cut out for me. I suspect that my tendency to buy several books per month is a compulsion that is associated with my OCD. Perhaps my difficulty in having peace of mind with either Christianity or atheism, instead of always flipping between the two, is due to my OCD. I thought for a long time that it was due to the passing of my spouse, but now I think it is associated with the “wiring of my brain.”
That “wiring” has probably not been the same all of my life. I do not remember having any effects of OCD when I was in my 30′s, for example. I do not remember it being much of an impact in my life, if at all, until after my wife passed away. Perhaps being depressed for a long period of time fundamentally altered my brain chemistry. I do not know. I do know that I now have OCD and that I am combating the compulsions that are attributable to it.
Anyway, I thought some of you might benefit from knowing more about OCD, and that all of you could benefit from being reminded that we are all subject to the effects of cognitive biases and have to be “on the lookout” to deal with them.