In this article I want to discuss the subject of problems. It is my hope that doing this will help you think about some of your problems in a new light, and perhaps help you achieve that solution you’ve been hoping for.
To start off, we’ll talk through some broad concepts. Then I will give you a case study for you to think about: a problem that I have had and how I am now seeing it in a new light.
The Basics
Though we probably don’t stop to think about it very often, our human nature is that we thrive on problems. Solving problems
- can make us feel useful and needed
- keeps our minds active, interested, and engaged
This not only contributes to our emotional health: it can also keep our brains from “decaying” as we age.
Said another way: it keeps us from being bored. I have several wonderful friends who could retire, but they have not done so because they think retirement would be boring. In fact there are many people who say they don’t want to believe in a heaven, because it sounds incredibly boring.
- The importance of keeping our minds engaged is one of the key reasons I decided to blog after I retired, and it is the reason I read a lot of books on how scientists are tackling some fascinating questions.
But, problems can bring you down, too. And, they don’t even have to be significant: just persistent. The persistence of problems can create a sense of helplessness, which probably accounts for why antidepressants are the most prescribed drug in the US. For example, many of the problems you deal with in raising a teenager can be like this: not really all that significant in the scheme of things, but persistent to the point of making you feel like you are helpless in solving them.
When Problems Linger
So what does it mean when problems linger? There could be several answers, and I won’t pretend to know them all. But, a couple of reasons do come to mind.
The first is that we sometimes try to solve a problem by trying to change something that we do not have the power to change. My earlier example of raising a teenager comes to mind: we sometimes run into a problem in doing so because we are attempting to change a person, and none of us really has the power to change another. Oh, we can influence other people, to be sure. But we cannot really change them: for a person to change, the change has to come from within.
The second answer that comes to my mind is that we sometimes keep trying the same old solutions to solve a problem, even knowing that those solutions have not worked in the past. You’ve probably all heard the saying that “doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity.”
Personally I do not think this equates to insanity: far too many of us sane people fall into this mode of “problem solving” from time to time.
What I think is often the root cause of this mode of tackling problems is that we have some sort of weakness that we haven’t really identified. And, when I say weakness, I mean an area in which we can improve. Once we identify that weakness, and act to overcome it, the problem is on its way to being solved. My own personal example, in the following section, should illustrate what I mean by this.
A Case Study: My Example
My own example of a problem that has lingered relates to this blog. Some of you have heard me say before that I get discouraged because subscriptions to this blog have not gone above 250 and because traffic always stays about the same, no matter how hard I work.
Bear in mind that I am not bringing this up to whine, because I hate whining and I am sure you do, too. I am illustrating a concept using this “problem” as an example.
I have tried a lot of different ways to tackle this problem, and it lingers. It had gotten to the point where it was actually depressing me. No joke. It was like it was sapping the life out of me, and I was feeling helpless. I know that must sound silly, given the insignificance of the problem: I mean, who really cares about any of this besides me? Nonetheless, it was sapping my energy and my creativity and my whole mode of being. By not solving this “problem,” I was losing confidence in myself.
Then, about 10 days ago, it got worse: my Google Page Rank dropped from a 5 to a 4. This could have been viewed as a big enough setback for me to just throw in towel and say to hell with it. I could have interpreted this as the universe telling me that I was wasting my time and that it is time to move on.
Instead, this new twist on the problem invigorated me. It caused me to realize that there were solutions I had not tried. For example, I had read enough to know that succeeding as a blogger means you have to market your blog. Yet, I have never been big on marketing. I have mentally equated the concept of marketing to the concept of being political: saying and doing whatever it takes to be a success, even when you don’t mean it.
But it dawned on me that I have had a narrow-minded view of marketing. Good marketing just means making sure you tell the truth in a way that gets the attention you want. (That’s an off-the-cuff definition: I am sure there are better ones.) It does not have to mean prostituting yourself or lying. For example, most of the titles of my articles are bland and boring. As long as I can make them more eye-catching without being deceptive, I should do so. (What I will not do, although I have been told it is a natural part of building a blog, is beg for other blogs to link to me.)
Anyway, now I realize I have a weakness (no talent for marketing) that I can work on. And, doing so will probably make me a better person, not just a better blogger.
I have also realized that my extreme impatience has also probably hurt this blog: sometimes I just get too impatient and publish something before thinking through whether it really adds value for any of you.
Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with a lot of details. I just wanted to illustrate the importance of “looking within” whenever you have a problem that continues to linger.
Wrap-up
Well, I hope this is something that can be helpful to you. Let these thoughts roll around in your head for a few days, and maybe some new solutions will start occurring to you.
I look forward to hearing your insights in the comments.
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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
According to the Webster Dictionary; the word “problem” can be defined as “..a source of perplexity, distress, or vexation.”.
My personal approach is often to identify if the distress/vexation itself is warranted; in the sense that am I justified in feeling that something is a problem? If so I move on to accept that this is indeed an opportunity as I am presented with a combination of events/situation that I have not faced before (hence the ‘problem’) and so is in fact an opportunity to “learn” how to resolve/deal with it.
I think to agree with your comment on change coming from within, I have to agree that this is true in my opinion and in fact can be strengthened by the understanding that we co-exist in a universe whose only objective is NOT to either make our lives entirely smooth or entirely rough. We are indeed interacting with variables and we have options and courses of action; that can alter the situation.
I think you are right about the common tendency to try to solve repeated problems using a tired old solution that never really worked anyway.
And then we have to deal with our habitual response patterns to problems, like “if I ignore it, it’ll pass.” Of course the problem not dealt with usually worsens. No wonder we get discouraged. It’s just far too easy to think in patterned ways rather than to nudge ourselves into creative thinking.
Honestly, considering how crazily complex we humans are, it’s a wonder we survive our foibles long enough get to retirement age so we can blog
Amen!
@Bruce: “Though we probably don’t stop to think about it very often, our human nature is that we thrive on problems.”
When I was very little, I remember musing about how all fiction was about problems. I remember wondering why people couldn’t find anything else to tell stories about.
When I first learned to use words, I began writing my own stories and realized there was nothing else to write about! Life is about solving problems.
@Bruce: “The second answer that comes to my mind is that we sometimes keep trying the same old solutions to solve a problem, even knowing that those solutions have not worked in the past.”
The phrase “I’ve tried everything” is so often an empty one. Very few poeple in this world have truly run out of options. This lament usually represents someone giving up to easily. The trick is to get out of your own way by checking your assumptions at the door. Easy? Heavens, no! But nothing worth doing is.
@Prashanth: “…we co-exist in a universe whose only objective is NOT to either make our lives entirely smooth or entirely rough.”
The catastrophe in Myanmar is a perfect example of how the universe doles out suffering unevenly and without regard to who deserves what. Why was there a cyclone there, while I blog in relative safety? None of us can answer that with any certainty. The only real answer is, “Because that’s the way things are.”
We should not, however, accept the universe as it is presented to us. If there are those who would do evil, we can overcome them with good. If there are those who are suffering unfairly, those of us who are not can lend a hand.
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