Having a good understanding of yourself is essential for maintaining focus and perspective in your activities and in your life. Hence, we will occasionally cover some self-understanding topics, as this one is.
Among the first self-help books I read were those by Tony Robbins. What I remember most distinctly from those books is his premise that you should write down your beliefs, and I also remember that my doing so was very enlightening.
Qualifier: If I recall correctly, one thing I did not like about Robbins’ thesis was him saying (I think) something like: If you don’t like your beliefs, you can change them … make them more empowering. My thought on this is: horse hockey. You should strive to ensure your beliefs represent reality, as best as your understanding of reality allows.
Hence, because identifying your beliefs can be enlightening, I encourage you to do this: set an appointment with yourself to identify and write down your beliefs. You may think that you already know your beliefs, but it is highly likely that you will determine that you have beliefs you were not aware of. And, you will probably find that you have some beliefs that conflict with some of your other beliefs.
(I recognize that you may have even done this exercise before, as you have probably read a lot of the same material over the years that I have. But, if it has been a while since you have done it, it is appropriate to put it back on your ToDo list.)
Richard Feynman, one of the smartest physicists to ever walk this planet, has been quoted as saying:
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.
While we all think we are flawless in our logic, the human brain tricks itself in numerous ways. The Wikipedia Entry on Cognitive Biases lists numerous ways in which our minds can come up with improper conclusions.
It fascinates me that we can actually simultaneously hold conflicting beliefs. Until a few years ago, I did not think it was possible to simultaneously hold conflicting beliefs, but I found out that it is possible. To give an example of it, let’s look again to Richard Feynman and to my own experiences.
On pages 68 and 69 of the book Perfectly Reasonable Deviations From The Beaten Track: The Letters Of Richard P. Feynman
My darling wife, I do adore you.
I love my wife.
My wife is dead.
Rich.
P.S. Please excuse my not mailing this - but I don’t know your new address.
You are probably thinking so what? The “so what” is that Feynman was an atheist, yet, reading between the lines, he clearly also held a belief that his late wife, Arline, was actually “somewhere else,” which is totally inconsistent with his atheism. You may be thinking, then, that he was only an “atheist on paper” and that perhaps he really believed in some sort of God and an afterlife, even if he didn’t realize it. Perhaps, but I can say from my own experiences that he probably actually held two conflicting beliefs. There have been plenty of times when I have been an atheist, a somewhat hard-core one, while at the same time standing at my wife’s grave and talking to her. Also, there have been times when I was an atheist and at the same time greatly feared (believed) that God would take something else away from me “just like he did with Vickie.” Admittedly, the latter belief was probably more deep-rooted, given my upbringing, but both beliefs were real.
I have discussed Feynman’s apparent holding of conflicting beliefs, and my obvious holding of conflicting beliefs, so that you can understand that identifying your beliefs is not an easy process and can have some surprising results. I can’t imagine a mind more analytical and more entrenched in reality than that of Richard Feynman, yet he apparently held conflicting beliefs. In my own case, my associates would tell you that I am among the most logical of people you could ever meet — I am no Feynman, for sure, but I do have a reputation for solid logic and for quickly cutting through tons of detail to the heart of the matter.
In closing, spending time getting to know yourself better is something that is easy to put off, yet it is a valuable activity. I recommend that you
- schedule time to do it
- when you are stuck in identifying your beliefs, then identify your behaviors and infer from that what beliefs are consistent with those behaviors. This is not necessarily an easy exercise, because sometimes the obvious answer is the wrong answer.
- fight the temptation to write down what you want to believe. This can also be difficult, and separating what you want to believe from what you actually believe probably won’t come easy.
I would be surprised if a single one-hour session would be sufficient for you to really identify all of your beliefs. But, in an hour, it is highly likely that you will learn more about yourself, and then you can set up an appointment with yourself for another time to dig deeper.
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